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People, specifically male people, tend to think that it must be awesome being married to a sex writer. Indeed, sometimes I tease my husband, Christopher, that he has it when, for example, I tell him that I need to give him an “orgasmic meditation blow job” — for work.But then there are the less glamorous moments, like when an Autoblow2 arrives in the mail and I ask him to insert his most precious member into a piece of machinery that, in his words, “looks like a coffee grinder.”The Autoblow2, which was released today, is, according to its website, “THE CROWDFUNDED BLOWJOB ROBOT EVERYONE IS TALKING ABOUT!A Tenga is a Japanese device designed for self-pleasure which holds the user's penis Sony SRS-XB40 has a built-in multi-coloured line light, speaker lights and a flashing strobe.It features 24 hours of battery life and claims to be a 'mini-disco on the move'. ‘This is a simple ride-on-top sex machine with a comfortable neoprene exterior and the added bonus of ejaculations.

Dennis Hof of Nevada’s iconic Moonlight Bunny Ranch and star of the creepy HBO late-night property “Those Australian researchers ought to come to the Bunny Ranch to see what real American sex is like- there’s no way to duplicate it…

In other words, imagine a Fleshlight that does the work for you.

Sounds brilliant, sounds awesome, sounds like THE FUTURE — until the future is on your genitals, sounding like it might spontaneously combust.

Meanwhile, I kept reading, silently: “THE AUTOBLOW2 IS AN ELECTRICAL APPLIANCE.

DO NOT USE IT IN OR NEAR WATER OR BODILY INJURY OR DEATH MAY OCCUR.”He applied the contraption to his junk, went to turn it on and I shouted, “Wait! The likelihood of bodily injury seems very high.” Unconcerned, he turned it on, pausing on its slowest setting before increasing the speed.